Why all the negativity?

Completely curious....Why do some peopl just feel the need to be negative all the time about everything??

My husband is deploying before Christmas and I have a lot to be negative about. He has crappy schedules, has to go to the field for weeks, he is constantly in work mode, he will miss Jayden's first Christmas, he will miss Jayden's first birthday, he will miss our anniversary, bobby's 3rd birthday. He will miss Valentine's Day, Halloween (of next year), Thanksgiving (next year) and the list goes on. I refuse to be negative about any of it. I do not want to waste the time that I have left being negative about every situation that comes up. I refuse to spend my deployment regretting that I spent more time being positive about everything.

I have noticed that when I am positive, Rob is in a much better mood. For instance, he was gone for 15 days in the field. It was pretty crappy out there and he was in a bad mood. There were rumors that they were staying an extra week etc... When he told me (and he was bummed), I just told him that it is just 7 more days no big deal. We did 15, we can do 22 days. It is just deployment prep. It is training for not only him, but for me and the kids.

I just cannot be negative all the time, specially being an Army wife. If I were negative 24/7, then I would have no friends and no one would want to hang out with me because I was such a downer. There is ALWAYS a positive and a reason to be happy. Some days, that reason is when I look at my kids and they just smile right back at me for no reason. That right there melts my heart and just warms me all over.

Life is WAY to short to spend being pissed off at the world. You have to live life, embrace it. It may suck, things could be worse and they will get better. It may not be right away,  but they will eventually get better. They won't get better if you dwell on the negative all the time. Trust me, there are days when I just want to throw in the towel, but I keep going. I have to force myself to find good things about everything. It is not easy or fun. There are days that I just want to lay in bed and mope around. I can't. I have two kids who rely on me to feed them, play with them and take care of them.

Finding the good is sometimes hard, but usually in plain sight. For instance, CQ. CQ are 24 hour shifts where the soldier sits at a desk and pretty much keeps tabs on all soldiers and etc. It usually starts at 6 am and goes till 6 am the next morning. It sucks big time. Everyone updates facebook saying hubby is home, waiting for the hubby etc.... When Rob has CQ, I have to wait till the next morning. When we first got here, he had CQ all the time and I hated it. I dreaded it. Now, I actually love CQ and I love when he has it. Is that wrong of me to say? nope. Why? Because the soldiers who have CQ get the next day off. They werk for 24 hours and get 24 hrs off. So,  Rob will come home at like 6:15 or 6:30 and go to sleep. He will then wake up at like 10 am and we go out and enjoy having the day all to ourselves. Hence, why I love CQ. Rob had CQ and I was so excited. He called me and said that an hour into his shift-he got removed because Bravo took over. I was so sad because I was looking forward to spending the day with him the next day, but it is 4 day this week, so he only had to work 4 days this week. Next week-he only has to work three!!! See, it was bad that he didn't have CQ but the good was that it is a 4 day...

The good maybe just that simple as a 4 day. It is whatever keeps your mind off the bad. When I have a hard time finding good, I remind myself that I have no right to be mad at the world for something silly. A really good friend of mine just lost her little baby, found out she was pregnant, miscarried and her husband is deploying really soon (all in one month). I have absolutely no freaking right to be angry at the world. I can find something in my life that reminds me every day that I am totally blessed with the people I surround myself with.

My best friend is good at keeping me positive too. She knows exactly what to say, is always there for me and is just an inspiration of how to be positive. It takes extra effort in the morning to say-no matter what-I will be positive about everything. I do have to say, after starting it-I've been in a better mood which puts Rob in a better mood and makes our marriage better. All in all, it's a win win. :)

Sleep??

So, last night, Bobby seemed to have some odd fear of his room. He woke up screaming at like 1 am. I went to go check on him and he refused to get up. He was just laying there screaming. Finally after constantly asking him-he got up (it was about 5 mins). It was then another 10 mins before I could get him to come out of his room (still screaming). He finally came out and I changed his diaper and let him lay with us in our bed. As soon as I laid him down-he went right to sleep. I thought it was so cute and was sooo relieved that he finally laid down and went back to sleep. Yet, around 3 am, he was up again, this time, wide-awake. I just do not know what is wrong with him. I think he has a massive tummy ache. It was so sad.

So, tonight, I couldn't fall asleep. I knew that Rob has bag lay out the next morning. Bag layout is usually right before morning formation at 0900. So, I threw all his nasty acus in the washer right before I was going to call it a night (12:30 am). I planned on waking up when he did for PT and while he was at PT, I would dry his uniforms and fold them and pack them. I was going to have his bags ready, breakfast cooked and a hot shower all waiting for him when he got home from PT. I climbed into bed and asked what time bag layout was. He then informed me that bag check was at 5:30 am. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? SO, now I have wait long enough for the washer to wash his uniform and then I can switch them over to the dryer. Then when he wakes up, I will just tell him that his uniforms are in the dryer.

Yet, I am finding it really really hard to stay awake long enough to switch them over. I just want to know what sleep is. I have forgotten what it means. Rob just got back from being away for 15 days and the Saturday before he came back I woke up and then did not go to sleep until Tuesday (the day he got back). It seems like lately, I do not sleep and I just pull all-nighters. What is sleep? Someone please tell me, because I have seemed to forgotten what a good night sleep looks like. D

My question is actually more like, does anyone remember what a good night's sleep is? Facebook is alive during the wee hours in the morning and people who should be sleeping are awake. Wives who have husbands deployed that can't sleep or are waiting for phone calls, new parents awake with infants, people awake because they have a lot on their mind, students awake finishing homework or studying for exams. So, does anyone really know what sleep is? I think we have all forgotten and we do not get the sleep we need. Yet, we consume soo much caffiene that we cannot really survive without our caffiene. I know that if I do not have a soda first thing in the morning, my day goes by soo extremely slow and my head hurts and all I want is a soda. It's all I think about every day. I would say I may have a problem :)

Army+Formal=Hell on earth :)

Some things that I just do not understand are formals. My husband has his first formal September 9th and somehow, I just really really really do not want to go. If I could go as a fly on the wall, then by all means, I would. The thought of putting on a dress and walking into a room with a group of other women just scares the crap out of me.

I have never gone to an Army formal before, I mean, I have never even seen my husband wear his full Class A's. For Pete's sake, his class A's are naked (so to speak). They have no patches, no ribbons, no medals nothing. We have to put all those one and I am scared to death to help because of how anal they are about the placement of these things. I mean, if they are an inch or two off, he could get in trouble. Scary huh?? Not to mention the freakin price it will take to do it all. I was in Stripes the other day and there was a guy with his Class A jacket and he was getting his PV2 rank taken off, having a PFC rank put on and his 11th BDE patch sewn onto both sleeves. They charged him $45 dollars...WHAT THE HECK??? Gosh darn.

This formal seems to be more a pain in the butt then it should. I mean, come on. I have to go out, buy a dress, buy shoes and acessories, get Rob's Class A's done, get him a new beret, shave it, find someone to babysit the boys. NOT TO MENTION-Getting all dolled up (the worst part of it all). Why do they make these things sooo painful?? I couldn't wait to have our first formal. I dreamed about it and couldn't wait to see him all dressed up. When I found out we were actually having one, I remembered the one critical part....I HAVE TO DRESS UP... CRAP!!!! *sigh* this should be fun...

I will be spending Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday trying to get everything ready for the formal. I want to pull my teeth out. Even in all this, I am pretty excited though to see thehubby all dressed up. That is what is the most exciting part of it all. So, the next couple days leading up to the formal-may be hell....correct that....will be hell...In the end-I am hoping that it is all worth it. Fingers crossed :)

Crafts+Stay@home mom=LOTS OF CRAFTS

So, I have been collecting little things for the house for this deployment. I have little flags for the yard, my blue star flag, a lattern that the boys will light every night so daddy will find his way home, my deployment journal, deployment t-shirst for the boys, kisses box, some patriotic bows......the list goes on. Gosh!!! I am officially a loser and I gladly admit that.

Deployment is going to be sooo hard on us and I am dreading each part of it. Yet, if I do not keep my mind occupied with something else, I will spend each day dreading it instead of enjoying the time I have left. I just got to give myself fun things to do. So, I make crafts. I have a sewing machine that I am going to make stuff on and hopefully make the boys little outfits for Rob's homecoming. As soon as he leaves, I will start working on my homecoming box :) My deployment box will become my homecoming box. I even have an Iphone app for the deployment.

I may sound deployment crazy and overboard, and I probably am. For me, I need to have tons of things to keep my mind off of the bad. I love doing crafts and I love writing. So, I have a ton of little crafts and my little journal. I also have paper that I will make into a scrapbook/journal for Rob. Each month he is gone, I will send him a page with pictures and other things from the kids so that he can keep up with what we are doing.

I even am buying a flip camera for us. The idea is to film the boys doing things and then I will send it to him. He will then watch it and record a message for the boys. When we get it, the boys can watch him and see how much daddy misses his boys. My mind is just overflowing with ideas and I need to do them all so that they will get out of my mind!!!! I am on craft overload!!! Jeez-what the heck is wrong with me? Why am I so pathetic that I am creating so many crafts that I have them coming out my ears. It will only get worse when Bobby's deployment/homecoming craft book comes in. :) *Sigh*.

I feel like some people may make fun of me for what I am doing and may think that I Am totally pathetic. I do not feel like I should apologize for something that helps me cope. People have different ways of coping and my way is to make cute things that I can use for that time. :) Deployment is going to suck and it will not be easy at all. I want to make it as easy as I can for both bobby and me. Bobby loves painting and coloring and doing crafts alongside me. So, if crafting helps us, why do people still think that we are pathetic?? I will never know.