pulling hair out

Question!!! Why do I get the urge to tear my house apart to organize it right before I have company coming?? Why is it that a transition from a pack and play to a big boy bed resulted into a whole house organization?

We have good friends of ours coming and I am putting the spare room together. We decided now of all times would be a great time to buy a new bed. The plan was that we would move our bed into the spare room and get a new bed. Then I thought of making that the permanent spare room (since Jay still sleeps in our room) and then when he gets older have the boys share a room. So, in all of that I realize that Bobby has soo many toys and the reason that our house is such a mess all the time is that I get overwhelmed by the amount of toys that are out and that they don't have an exact place to go. Hence why I put off putting them off because it's all too overwhelming.

So, I went out and bought organization stuff, new bedding (one for our new bed-since we went from a queen to a king and one for bobby's new bed) and more organization stuff. Now, in the attempt to keep me stressfree and the house organized, I just overwhelmed by the amount of clutter of it all that is just sitting in my living room. Are you kidding me?? I am trying to avoid and I just made it even worse. All right before company....GOSH DARN IT!!!!

I hate when I do a plan and it all backfires on me. I am trying to eliminate the stress of clutter and I am just making it 10x worse. I suck sometimes!! I should have done it a little at a time instead of it all at one time. Woops....I should have thought about that beforehand. Oh well-It may just take a little longer to do but it will be done and I will be happier when it does. I just want to have a organized house and a stress free environment. How come that is so hard to attain when I try so hard. Oh well. :) It will all work out in the end... Or so we hope :)

JEEZ!!! I haven't written in a while. Holy cow!!! How did I go this long without writing? I feel horrid for it. Things have been so hectic with the birth of our youngest and now we are getting ready for Rob to be in and out of the field for about a month and a half. :( We just got back from leave which totally went by WAY too fast.

I thought going home would be horrible for me because I would just want to stay and I would not come home. Now, don't get me wrong, I thought about staying multiple times, but for once, I knew that I truly belonged in El Paso (for the time being). I struggle big time with friends and trying to find where I truly belong. In elementary and high school, I was never popular and always was shot down. I got burned soo many times by people I thought were my friends. Awesome memories.

Yet, this is different, for once, I am excited to get back to life here and pick up where I left off. Robert and I have found a really great couple that we are good friends with, really close friends of ours just got stationed here (super excited) and I am FRG leader. I am finally finding my knack in this place and El Paso is not as bad as it was 9 months ago. Funny how that really works. You hate a place until you find your nitch. I am still trying to find mine and I am slowly finding mine, but it makes this Army life easier on me.

I can't wait to PCS again and this time, I will handle it WAY better. I mean the whole Army Wife/life can either make you or break you. The way you handle PCS, field time, deployments, training will determine how your life and how much you actually enjoy this. I mean instead of dreading PCSing (like I did), look at it as an adventure. Deployment is easier if you don't say good bye- but see ya later. If you realize that he may be far away but never gone. I am so excited now that I got this new perspective on this crazy/hectic life :)