Support

Sorry that I've not written in a while. I actually have started journal-ling lately because Rob and I are keeping deployment journals. So, instead of blogging, I've been writing. Not to mention, I have been trying to adjust to doing everything on my own. 

Life has been full of adjustments the last three weeks. Bobby went from being well-behaved to being out of control. He has been testing me left and right and I've broken down more over his behavior than Rob being deployed. I did not think that the deployment would have this big of an affect on him, but it has. I thought maybe after the first week, he would be better. That is how it was when Rob went to the field. Yet, we are approaching week three and he is still adjusting. We both are, but the good thing, we are doing it together. We are both learning how to do things with Rob being here. He is opening up again. 

I can hardly believe that this deployment has been going by so fast. I mean, I can't believe that I am one week shy of making it through the first month. Are you serious? That is just mind boggling to me. I could never imagine in a million years that this deployment would be going by so fast. I mean, please do not get me wrong. I have my bad days where I feel like this deployment will never end and I get so bitter and cry. I do have my bad days where I just want to be alone. I was just able to eat Taco Bell (his favorite place to eat), I am trying to sleep in my bed for the first time since he left. We have a king size bed and it is just so empty. My Christmas tree is still up. I cannot bring myself to take it down because it was the last thing we did together. 

I am blessed. I have an amazing support system here. I was debating on moving home because I was scared to do this alone. I wanted to be home with my family so that I had help with the boys. Yet, I would have kicked myself if I did. I have amazing friends and we are constantly doing things with each other and supporting each other through this. People have been telling me that I am forgetting my husband because I am constantly going out and having fun. I recently took Bobby to his first football game. We are having fun. That is what I need and what the boys need. I do not want them to remember the deployment as mommy crying all the time. I want them to remember all the fun activities that we did. Not to mention, Rob is excited that I am getting out and about and not sitting home. 

The key to making a deployment easier to bare is a great support system. I am so grateful that I have mine and that they are there for me. They are even there for me on my bad days and are always so forgiving if I say something stupid (I do that a lot). I wouldn't be able to do this deployment without them and it is amazing how close you can become to some one.