Where has the time gone?

Umm, I want to know where time went. I just can't believe how old my little boy is. He seems to have grown up and I have not even seen it. Which makes no sense to me since I stay at home with him and I am constantly around him. Yet, he is grown up right before my eyes and I haven't even noticed it.

I remember holding him for the first time. There are truly no words for the feeling that washed over me as I held him for the first minutes of his life. The saying is really true that you forget all the crap and pain that you just endured. I loved holding him thinking that he was so perfect and so healthy. As I held his small body (all 8.5 pounds) on my chest, I couldn't imagine how much he would change my life. He had already changed so much of my life in just that few minutes of his life. I now had so much more to tackle. I had a ton of sleepless nights ahead of me, I had to master nursing. I had to give up my life and my friends for him and put him first. I was now responsible for another human being. I had to raise him, teach him right and other things. People were going to look at him and judge my parenting style by his behavior.

I have a ton of dreams for him. My biggest dream for him is to be who he wants to be. I want him to be who HE wants to be. Yes, I would love for him to play soccer, I know that Rob would love for him to play football. We have decided that we aren't going to push him into joining the military. We are going to leave that up to him. We want him to follow his dreams and not ours. We will support him in whatever he wants to do.

Where did the time go? He is one month shy from being 2 years old. :( NOOOO!!!! I don't want my little boy to be 2. I want him to stay the little 1 year old he is. He is becoming a little stinker and already has that attitude. The other day, he was running around with a pen and I told him to give it to me. He looked at me and told me flat out, "NO". My heart breaks that I have to punish him, but I want was is best for him and this all apart of the parenting.

He sometimes act older then he really is. It amazes me. When Rob is in the field or something, it's like he can almost sense that I am sad. He can sense something is off and tries everything in his power to make me laugh. Trust me, he is a pro at it at and it doesn't take long before I am laughing at his silly antics. You can just look at him and he will giggle and just do a goofy smile. He scoffs at you and does something truly silly. He loves to make me laugh and will stop at nothing to do that. I don't mind, I love listening to his laugh. He has the cutest laugh in the entire world. I love the personality that he has and I am loving it even more now that he is talking more and more. He is just picking up everything we say and it's adorable.

Gosh, where did the time go? I miss him already.