The Little Things

So, it will be the boys and me for Christmas. As sad as I am that Rob is missing out on Christmas and Jayden's first Christmas, I need to make this a special as I possibly can. I have been looking for ways to actually bring joy to that day. Christmas will be quite depressing this year but knowing that it will not be this way next year. 

Today, I went to WalMart and we were shopping. I have been talking to Rob about letting me get the four Christmas classic movies that I wanted. They were: The Grinch that Stole Christmas (the cartoon), Santa Claus comes to town, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Frosty the Snow Man and Jack Frost. I found Jack Frost last night for $5. The remaining four were at Walmart for $10 each. Robert told me that $40 was a lot to spend and we needed to wait. I was sad, but I was okay with it. Anyways, I went to WalMart today and we were in line to check out when I saw it. Santa Claus coming to town, Rudolph and Frosty in a bundle for $20! Needless to say, Rob let me get it and I was so excited. Not only did it come with four extra little holiday movies, but it came with a $10 credit for a movie download site. So, I can download The Grinch and I will have all my movies. 

Robert could not understand why I was so happy. I suddenly envisioned Bobby, Jayden and I curled up on the coach with hot chocolate (for Bobby) and Chai Latte for me watching these movies in our jammies. I was so excited. I have this idea of our family mattress on the floor of our living room and all of us on it enjoying each other. 


I then realized, that Christmas was going to be hard for me. It was up to me to make Christmas extra special for the boys, specially Bobby. He will the be the one that has a hard time dealing with this all and it is my job and his mom and as a military wife, to make sure that he realizes that even though daddy is gone, things will go on. Christmas can be depressing if I focus on Rob's absence. If I focus on making my own traditions with the boys and making it very memorable,  I will be happy. It is not the big things that count, but it is the little things.


In my dad's small group that he teaches every Sunday morning, he has been using Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Chapter two was all about how distracted we are by everything and how we need to refocus our lives on what truly matters. My distractions have been making every moment count and making sure everything goes smoothly. I wanted to make sure that we did things as a family and I would get soo upset when they didn't go the way that I thought that they would. 


I finally had to set back and say to myself, okay, we are going to just enjoy this time as a family. Whether it be watching the Dallas Cowboys play or whether it was just watching a movie as a family, we would enjoy it. In that moment, I was at peace. In that exact moment, things fell together and we started having so much fun. The arguments went down to a minimal and Rob and I were both happier. 

Francis Chan writes this in his book, " Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control." 


Can you say WOW?!?!?!?! That just hits home and hits the ball out of the ball park. I have been so wrapped up in making sure things are perfect and that we do as much as we can as a family. Going to the splash park or park every Saturday was too much. Rob was working long days getting ready for leave and all he wanted to do was relax. I kept telling him that we were doing this and doing that. It wasn't until I stepped back and just let everything go. It wasn't until I relinquished all control and took a deep breath. In my search of living with no regrets, I was having a lot of regrets. I now have none. I know what I did wrong and I corrected it. 


We are enjoying our leave and enjoying the fact that we are together as a family. Isn't that all that should matter? Same with Christmas. We will be celebrating it without Rob this year, but that doesn't mean that we can't have the best Christmas ever. Just because Rob won't be here for it, doesn't mean that we shouldn't celebrate. Why? We celebrate Christmas because that was when Jesus came to the earth to save us. It is not about all the presents, dinners and other things that are now associated with Christmas. It is about the birth of our Savior. That is what Christmas is about. So, yes Rob will be gone, but Jesus isn't and He is the reason for the season. 


As the holidays approach, please give your kids an extra hug. Be kind to your spouses and please do not get wrapped up in the holiday doo-daah. It is about Jesus Christ. It is about his birth. So, please remember, Jesus Christ is still alive and so is Christmas. It's a time to celebrate His birth. I know my boys and I will be making a Cake and singing Happy Birthday to Him.