The impossible has happened. I am officially in the Christmas spirit. I thought that I would just have to hope and pray that I would get into the spirit and maybe, just maybe, I would be after he left. I have reached the Christmas spirit today!!
It all started when we got our Heroes at Home gift card from Sears. Every year, they give out gift cards to a select group of military families to help with Christmas. It is like Black Friday shopping when the registration opens up for the program. The website will crash from the number of people that are trying to apply. We applied and were accepted. We recently got ours yesterday.
I had done the majority of our Christmas shopping on Black Friday because all the things I wanted for the boys were on sale and I was so excited. I saved a lot of money from that and the boys were going to be spoiled. Usually, we get the boys one big gift and some little gifts for their birthdays and for Christmas. This year, Robert and I decided that we would set aside that rule, considering he would be deploying right before Christmas. We had decided to set aside money from each paycheck so that we could do what we wanted to do for the boys.
We ended up celebrating Christmas with his parents while we were up there. I bawled all the way home because it didn't feel like Christmas and I was afraid that I would feel like that on Christmas day. I have been trying so hard to keep an upbeat outlook on this whole deployment process and it seemed that my hard work was not paying off. To make matters worse, I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized how scary soon Rob was deploying. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I would be Scrooge for Christmas. I do a good job playing off that I am completely fine and everything is just perfect. Deep down inside, I am hurting and just want to scream. I figured that Christmas would be like that. I didn't want to listen to Christmas music either (and I LOVE Christmas music).
We got our Sears gift card and Rob and I sat down to talk about how we would spend it. We could get the boys more presents, or get each other something little. I mentioned that I wish we could decorate for Christmas and before I knew it, Rob had a Christmas tree picked out and ready for pick up. I grew very excited. I felt like a kid in a candy store. You see, we've been married for three years and never decorated for Christmas. Our first Christmas together, we couldn't afford to decorate or buy a Christmas tree. Our second Christmas was the same way. We had just had Bobby six months prior to that and we were strapped for money as is. We could not afford to buy a Christmas tree and decorations. Last Christmas, we were stationed here and went home for Christmas. There was no point in decorating since I was gone for about three weeks and Rob didn't want to decorate by himself. This year, we could afford it but thanks to Sears, we were able to get a nice tree and not have to spend a lot out of pocket. We also got some decorations.
Rob is taking me out tomorrow to finish up the rest of our shopping and then home to wrap presents and set up the tree and everything. I am so excited for Christmas. I cannot wait to decorate my own tree for the first time EVER and I am even more excited to start my own traditions for the boys. I have so many plans for Christmas day and I am so excited to spend that day with our boys. Rob will be in our thoughts and def in our prayers as he will probably be traveling or just arriving come Christmas day. It's going to be a bittersweet day, but I am soo thankful that I am finally in the spirit of the holidays. I am so relieved that I haven't lost the spirit of the holidays and now that I am excited, Bobby is even more excited. He is itching to get into presents and see what he got.
So, mission impossible is a success. This grouchy army wife is finally in the spirit of Christmas and is going to enjoy every second. I know that I will be sad on that, who wouldn't be, but I know that Rob would want me happy and he would want me to enjoy the day. So, that is what I shall do. I am so thankful for his service and incredibly proud of him. <3 I love him more and more every day.
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