Hero Dad

Every day, I read Bobby this book called Hero Dad. I am not sure how much he likes it, but I am hoping that he will grow to love it, especially since Robert will be deploying. We have a special book just for deployment. It's a recordable book that he can record himself reading it, and every night I will have the boys listen to it, so that Daddy is still with us.

Anyways, this book, Hero Dad, is the sweetest book that I have ever bought Bobby. I love reading and the first time I read it, I cried. It may just be the fact that it's the pregnancy hormones or what it was, but I bawled my eyes out. I wanted to share the book with you guys because it's such a sweet book and if anyone who reads this has kids with a daddy that is a soldier, please get it.

Hero Dad

By Melinda Hardin

My dad is a superhero

He doesn't wear rocket-propelled boots-

he wears Army boots

He can't fly-

well, sometimes he can.

He doesn't have x-ray vision-

he has night vision.

He doesn't drive a super-powered car-

he drives a tank.

He doesn't wear a cloak that makes him invisible-

he wears camouflage.

He doesn't carry a laser gun-

he carries a rifle.

He doesn't have a sidekick-

he has a platoon.

Sometimes he has to go away for long trips,

but that's what superheros have to do.

My dad is an American soldier.

My dad is a hero,

my superhero.

This book is awesome as I said. I love the book probably more then Bobby does, but one day he will understand what daddy does. He loves daddy so much and he hates when he goes away. I hope that this book plus other things that we are getting him will help him understand that Daddy has an important job and that he still loves him although he goes away. I want him to look at his daddy with pride just like my nephew looks at his dad. When you ask Johnny what he wants to be, he says he wants to be a Marine. I want that for Bobby. I know I look at Robert with such pride and admiration. I only want the same for Bobby.

Reality

I am sorry that I have not written in a while. Things have been a bit hectic around the Mine's household. Anyways, I am back and better then ever, per say.

Reality is hitting me slowly but surely. I realized that in 15 weeks I will go from a mother of one to a mother of two. I will no longer have to devote my attention to a toddler, but i will have to split it between a toddler and a newborn. Not only that, but as of right now, Robert will be in the field in May, so that is not going to be easy at all.

Today was a bit exciting! I ordered a bunch of prefolds today. I now have enough to start Jayden in CDs and I am super excited about it. Now all we have left is a carseat, a double stroller, some more cloth diapers (never can have enough). I even got a organizer for all the diapers and stuff. I mean, this is all very exciting. I know it will dwindle down a bit when I have to start doing the cloth diapers and I have to start dealing with them, but the savings are going to be worth it. I have done my research on it and I know it's going to be hard and if I don't stay on top of it, then things will get nasty. Yet, I am still willing to do this.

I have Robert's full support and he is as excited as I am. I can't wait to get the prefolds and I can teach him how to do it. I am so excited about it to. It's so easy and I hope that once I get the hang of it and the more I do research, I can make my own diapers. I wish I could start now, but I can't. I can't do anything without doing a lot of research into it. I need to make sure that I know the pros and the cons of it all. I don't like to dive head in without knowing what I am getting myself into.

I am wishing that the next 15 weeks can hurry up. I want to meet Jayden and I want to see my mommy. She is coming down to help with Bobby while I am in labor or having a c-section, whichever the doctor decides that I need. I swear, there is nothing like having a piece of mind knowing that my one son is in good hands while I give birth to my other. I mean, what better hands for him to be in then my mom? I mean, I turned out well, plus she has raised six kids. Not to mention, I can't wait to see her and show her where we live and our house. I mean that's the fun stuff about having a baby. The not so fun is the labor.

What a day

Can I just start out by saying WHEW WHAT A DAY? It has been one crazy day that seemed to only get worse as the day went on. I pretty much thought that today may never end, and as much as I kept saying things could be worse, nothing seemed to help.

I could tell that it was going to be a bad day since I had an appt at 8:45 am and since Robert had formation at 8 am, I had to get up with him, get Bobby up and get us all ready and out the door by 7:30 am. Are you serious? Bobby doesn't even get up till about 8 am every morning so I could tell it was a bad day.

Boy, was I right!! The appt was TORTURE/HELL/WHATeVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. It took almost two hours and the whole time Bobby is getting worse and worse. I am so glad that I had Robert to help me. He volunteered to come with me to help out with the little monster. He had so much on his plate today since he had to install radios in all the vehicles, take a test and some other stuff all before he could leave. He didn't know all this until this morning, but he still went with me. He was late getting back (since the appt took forever) and I feared that I wouldn't get him home until late.

I do have to say that I have one amazing husband. He takes time out of his busy day to help me out even though he knows it will put him getting home later. He still ends up doing all that he needs to do, passing his test and being home on time. I am so blessed to have him as my husband. Jeez, what am I going to do when I have a "whew, what a day" and he isn't here to help me out? I have no clue, but I know that he is doing all he can. I know he is trying to make up for not being here at all next year (even though he doesn't have to, he wants to). He even did a 24 hour shift and came home and spent all day with us. He could have slept and I kept telling him to sleep, but he didn't want to waste any time with me and Bobby. What husband does that? AN AMAZING ONE!!! Boy, do I love my husband.

I am working on things that will make his months here the best months EVER. I have little gifts and little things. I really want him to leave knowing that he did everything he could and I want him to have no regrets. I want him to leave and I have no regrets. I don't want to fight, bicker, complain or anything. These last months are all we have for a long time and they are going to be the best. One month, we are taking both boys to Sea World for the day. I am determined to make it amazing. Even with "whew what a days" :)

Seasons

I was going through my music library today. I love music and I love listening to music to help me through the days that I have a hard time dealing what life is giving me. Today hasn't been a good day, Bobby is being awful and I just am missing home again. I go through my days where all I want is to be back home where I feel more comfortable. Anyways, I find that the best people to listen to that just uplift me is Nichole Nordeman, Jeremy Camp, Natalie Grant and Nichole C. Mullen. I could go on and on.

Anyways, today I found my mp3 fild of Nichole Nordeman's cd This Mystery. It has a lot of good amazing songs on there that I just love and still know by heart, but one song that just really got to me today was her song, "Every Season". I put my headphones on and put it on repeat and just listened to it, bawling. I forgot how great such a song it is. The song is about seeing God through every season change, Summer, Autumn, Winter, and Spring. I don't know why, but today I really needed to hear this song.

I feel like this song is more about the just the change of the seasons but it's about us. We all go through seasons in our lives. Ecclesiates 3:1 states, "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Our lives are constantly changing and God is allowing us to go through such seasons so that we can be molded. I am going to post the lyrics and just tell you what each say to me.

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

The first verse talks about summer and the joys of summer. To me this is talking about the best times in our lives. We are completely happy, our responsibilities have taken a break and we are relaxing. We feel youthful, we feel joyful and we are just plain happy. To us, there could be nothing wrong and that life couldn't be more perfect. Everything is falling into place and we tend to forget what we were just through. We don't like to think about it just as kids don't like to think about school during summer vacation.

The second verse goes on and describes Autumn. I personally love this season, the leaves are changing and the colors are so beautiful. Yet, Autumn is also when things are slowly dying and slowly changing. It's a time that we are thankful for what God has given us. We go through this thankful time where we are just amazed how God has provided and what God has done. Autumn to us is the time that we start seeing the joy drop off and we can feel the slow creep of the cold coming in, but we are still thankful for the family and friends that we have. Things are starting to fall apart and we are trying to keep it together.

After Autumn, comes the hardest season in life, winter. Winter is the time in our lives where all the warmth and joy is gone and we are "cold" inside. Everything is dying and there's really nothing left. We remember what used to be and try to focus on what is to come. We can't remember what it was like to be happy and we are just trying to catch the littlest glimpse of hope and joy. We are leaning on God and family during this time and we are trying to keep our head above the water just to make it.

Don't be disheartened. God never gives you more than you can handle and He will not leave you alone. He gives you your spring time. You feel rebirthed, renewed and refreshed. You are beginning to see the purpose of what you were going through. You are a new person and stronger than you were ever before. You grew during the last season and you are forever a new person. You feel completely different and you are starting to remember what happiness looked like. You start to smile at the littlest things and you start to see the beauty to your suffering. You begin to realize why you endured it and you begin to understand everything.

One thing that each season has in common, is that you are not alone in any of this, even in the joy. God, family, and friends are here for you every step of the way. You do not endure any of it by yourself and you will never. Someone is always there for you to laugh with you, cry with you, rejoice with you, pick you up when you fall etc. You can't give up when you are in Winter. You have to keep your eyes on Spring and Summer. You can't give up when you start to enter Autumn. God will never leave you no matter what. He is always walking in when everyone else is walking out. He made each season and He will be there for every season.

Daddy's Boy

People ask me all the time if Bobby is a "mommy's" boy or a "daddy's" boy. I really don't know how to answer that. Bobby is a huge "mommy's boy" pretty much all day every day, but when he notices that Daddy is gone, he goes nuts.

It's like he can sense that mommy has no battle buddy, so he knows that he can act out and that I will eventually get worn down and tired. Robert had CQ last night and Bobby was awful and I was about to pull my hair out. I was cooking dinner and I came in the living room and he was in the middle of the floor surrounded by hundreds of q-tips. I was about to cry when I saw that. Here I was, I thought that he was being good, but heck no. He was getting into stuff that he shouldn't. He opened the bathroom door, went to the drawers, opened the drawer, got the pack out and took into the living room. Wow.. REALLY??

When Robert walked through the door this morning, Bobby was on him like glue. He ran out and greeted him and for the rest of the day, he would just lay on Robert's shoulder and you could tell he missed him. When Robert went in the field last month, Bobby was beside himself and would not leave Robert alone when he came back. I think it's so cute that he is so attached to me, but yet when daddy is gone, he is all about daddy. He is all about both of us. So the answer is that he is crazy for both of us.

I love that he is so attached to both of us. Robert sometimes hates that Bobby prefers me over him, but he loves coming home after work or the field because Bobby loves him and makes him feel loved. Bobby always knows how to make it known that he was missed. The best thing is the scream that he lets out when Robert walks into the house. It just melts both of our hearts when we hear it. I mean he is only 20 months, but he sure knows how to make his daddy feel amazing.

Blessed

It's quite depressing here at Bliss hearing about all the husbands deployed or getting their deployment orders. This is our first deployment and I don't know what to expect. It's quite frightening to think that come December, I will lose my best friend for 9 months-to a year. He will be able to come home halfway through the deployment for two weeks of R&R, but I have a feeling that those two weeks aren't going to long enough. I have a feeling that saying goodbye all over again at R&R will be harder then saying it in the first place. We are trying to work it out that he will do most of his time over there and then when he comes back, he only has a couple more months to go.

I still have till December to prepare and I am so blessed that God gave me this time Especially since we are expecting our second in May. I don't know what I would do without my husband in the delivery room. Robert has always been the rock in this marriage. He keeps me calm and relaxed when I start getting overwhelmed and stressed out. He is always there to keep me focused on the goal and focused on what needs to be done. God has blessed us in ways that I can not begin to thank Him. I know that it would kill Robert not to be here for the birth of our son. I mean we could skype during the birth, but he wouldn't be able to hold him, and spend time with him. I thank God every night that Robert was given more time.

So, I have a little over 11 months to prepare for this deployment. I feel somewhat better knowing that he won't be in any combat since his job requires him to monitor computer screens and being the communications guy for an Air Defense Unit. I am relieved to know that he isn't even going to be in the Middle East at all, he will be deploying to some small country in Asia. Again, God has blessed us with sending my husband to a non-combat zone.

I can sit here and mope around about him leaving or I can choose to look at what God has done that will make this deployment easier for me to bear. I mean I will still have two kids that I have to raise on my own, take over the finances, and I will have to be the rock for my children. Of course I won't have Robert, but I have my faith and I have friends who also are losing their hubbies along with mine, or right before mine. I have my family back in VA and I have a sister who has already done two deployments. The saying is true that God will not give you more then you can handle. He is giving me a chance to prove how strong I am to myself and to others. He is giving me a chance to really know how it is like being an Army wife and He does all this knowing I have an amazing support system. I am amazed that He thinks that I am strong enough for this. I wonder how I will do without Robert with a toddler and a newborn. At Basic and AIT, I had a baby, but now I have a baby and a toddler. But if my God is for me, who can be can be against me? Hooah!!

Fluffy

I went to a Fluffy Party yesterday and had soo much fun!! I bet you are wondering what the heck is a fluffy party is. It was a party that three moms who cloth diapered taught us who want to cloth diaper how to. To be completely honest, I was freaked out about it. I did some research before I went and it looked so hard, and I didn't think that I could do it. Yet, after going I am so excited to start the baby in it when he arrives. I already put together a registry of the things we need to start Jayden in them. If everything goes well with Jayden, we will move onto our eldest Bobby. I am completely in love with Cotton Babies website. They have so many awesome things not just for the baby, but for mommy to.

It is a bit overwhelming at first with all the different types of diapers. You have prefold, all in one, diaper covers, fitted diapers, pocket diapers, etc. We are still trying to figure out which ones will fit us, but I know for me, I will be starting Jayden with prefolds. The only downside is the cost of start up at first. Since we aren't sure if we are going to be cloth diapering, we are doing prefolds also. Prefolds are the cheapest since each prefold is about a $1.50 each and then you spend like $10 on the cover. You only need a couple of covers so you can focus on doing the prefolds. I was amazed how easy it was to do a prefold. I was shown how to fold them, and then i folded one. Easy as 1-2-3.

The thing that scared me the most was cleaning them off and keeping them in the house. Well, my fears were put to rest about that too. They have have a sprayer that hooks into your toilet water line and you just squirt the poop in the toilet and throw the diaper in the wetbag. If I do laundry every other day or every day, the house will not smell more then it would with a disposable. I am so excited to start being able to do this. I plan on purchasing a starter pack off of Amazon which I am going to have to save up for since its about $140. Once I get that pack, I can have enough prefolds to last probably a couple of days and then if anyone asks me what we need for Jayden, I will just answer that we need diapers. We still have ALL of Bobby's clothes and blankets, so we are good on clothes and blankets. People say that your second baby, you should ask for diapers since you have have everything from your first. So, that's what we are doing. Asking for diapers.

The other hurdle was getting Robert behind me. Trust me, Robert is all about saving money, but he didn't like the price tags on the diapers. I mean there are diapers out there that are $2o a diaper, but in the long run, you save more money since you don't have to throw them out. The same thing with wipes, I won't have to buy wipes anymore since you use cloth wipes/baby washcloths for their bottom. So now that I won't have to throw out diapers, wipes, I will save money on trash bags too since I won't be going through so many if they stink. I am so excited to get started and I can't wait till we get our income tax return so I can start my cloth diaper stash for Jayden.

Even if I start potty training Bobby when I get comfortable enough to do cloth diapering on him, I can use cloth training pants on him. I hope by 2012, we will be buying no more disposables and we will be strictly cloth. That is my goal, it may not happen and it may, but we will see. You guys can follow along on my journey to learn to cloth diaper and my excitement as i get more and more diapers for my stash. :) I can't wait to start on Jayden.

Just the Beginning

The Army was so generous and moved us here to El Paso, Texas. I wasn't too thrilled about being here and when I got here, I hated it even more. Don't get me wrong, there are places I still rather be then here in El Paso. Ft. Bliss is not exactly what Robert and I are used to and it is a culture shock from the small town in Virginia that we are from.

When we first arrived back in October, I went into this state of depression. I hated every minute that I was there and I couldn't wait to get back to VA. I was counting down the days until Christmas Exodus so that I could be back where I was comfortable. I was pregnant, had a 18 month old and I just wasn't happy. We have one car and Robert uses it to get back and forth to work so I was left at home by myself with our son. I think I was on the verge of losing my mind especially when our son started teething.

We moved on post shortly after we moved here and I thought that I would be happier. Nope. Days after we moved on post, Robert was sent into the field for a week. I was soo miserable that I almost packed up and went home. Life sucked for me and I just couldn't wait to get out of ELP. I went home for three weeks during Christmas and it was soo nice, but it was only a vacation and I had to return.

I couldn't even look at my mom while I was leaving because I was trying to hold back the tears because I didn't want to leave. There was no way that I could leave my family just to go back to a place that I hated and felt so alone. I bawled for the first hour on the plane ride back. It was awful, not to mention pregnancy hormones suck!!

Well, I guess that I was not patient enough. I thought that the adjustment would be easy for me since I welcome change and I love trying new things. Somehow, this PCS (it was our first) hit me and hit me hard. I looked to Robert to make me happy and he couldn't. HE tried and tried and he would be depressed because nothing ever made me happy. I was just miserable and looking back, I feel terrible for the way that I acted.

Now, three months later, things are just coming into place. We may have found a church that we like, I am starting to get into hobbies and find stuff that I enjoy doing. I am starting to learn how to coupon shop, cloth diaper and still go to school. It seems though as soon as things start coming together, something tries to throw them all off balance. My husband got his deployment orders for this year. We will be spending Christmas without him. I am due in May and thank God he will be here for the birth of our second son.

I am starting to plugged into Ft. Bliss and the church (once we find one). I have set it in my mind that this deployment will not destroy us nor will it break me. I refuse to get down about it and I have set in my mind that I will look at only the positive. For instance, when my husband deploys, another unit (which I have friends in) will return. So, as my husband leaves, I will be watching wonderful girls get their husbands back. What a better way to look at a deployment then that? We are planning a SeaWorld vacation before he deploys as one last thing as a family and other things. As I said, I refuse to be broken by this. God has never and will never give me something that I am incapable of handling. Jeremiah 29:11 states, " For I know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper and not to harm, plans to give you hope and a future".

In saying all that, I am keeping this blog so that people can see that there is hope when you PCS the first time and even if you get stuck somewhere that you hate (Yes, I still hate El Paso), it doesn't mean you have to miserable. You can follow me along as I try new things (couponing, cloth diaper, raising two kids, enduring my first deployment etc) and if you are getting ready to PCS or have already and you feel so alone, maybe you can find hope and encouragement in what I write. Military girls have to stick together no matter the branch or rank. We are all fighting the same battle, battle homefront. We all love the people who keep our country safe and we all endure the same battles.

This is going to be an adventure for our family and I challenge those who read this, to look at your situation the same way. Hooah!! :)