Different People

I do not understand why people often judge other people due to the way they handle things. Ever since around August/September, Rob's deployment has been really becoming very real to me. He should get his orders very soon and I've been emotional. I have been gathering stuff for his deployment and doing some projects for him when he deploys. Some of the projects are emotional for me to do and the fact that he is leaving is very sad for me.

I am the type of person that I will be at my worst right before he leaves. I prepare myself for it and then give me like 2 or 3 days after he leaves to mourn and I will be fine. That is how I am. I am fine once he leaves, but I am emotional right before he leaves. Rob is the type of person that the worst is right as he is leaving. So, it works for us. We are able to keep us strong. Right now, he is keeping us strong and keeping everything stronger. When he will need me, I will be there for him and I will be the one who is strong. Why is it wrong that the months before he leaves-I am allowing myself to prepare and allow myself to accept it.

I do want to feel unprepared and I don't want to be caught with my pants down. We will be given a date, but who knows, they may change it and he may leave sooner that expected. So, instead of having to prepare the last minute, I allow myself to feel everything beforehand. Why is that soo wrong?? I am a different person and the way that I handle my emotions may be different than the way that you do. It doesn't mean that I am a bad person.

I am not letting it affect my relationship with my husband. It is actually bringing us together. I am not spending each day dreading the deployment and I am not allowing it to stress me out. When I think about it and I start to cry, I just let myself. He holds me and tells me that everything will be okay. I feel better after I get it out and we move on with our day. We are enjoying the time that we have left and I am so thankful that I am able to do this. I cannot help that I handle things before something, it is who I am. I never thought it was a bad thing. I love my husband and he is greatful that I am doing it all beforehand. He knows that I won't breakdown after he leaves, and that I will be able to move on and do what I got to do. I love my husband for understanding me and understanding why I do the things I do.