Day 2

Well, Bobby and I have made it through day 2 of the 11 day field exercise. The days seem to be flying by. I know as soon as I say that, they will start inching by, it's just my luck. :)

It's been pretty good. Yesterday was hard for me. I was emotional and discouraged knowing that he wasn't coming home on the weekend like any other time. I did not see an end to this, but today, I do. Tomorrow, I am doing something extra special for Robert and hanging out with a good friend of mine. Friday, I have an appointment in the morning that will last all morning. Saturday and Sunday are going to be the worst days. :( When Monday rolls around, it's going to be refreshing. I welcome Monday's arrival since I know that my husband will be back in my arms until August when he goes back into the field.

I always seem to build up this idea that the things are going to be awful and it's going to be the worst 11 days of my life. It hasn't seem that bad. This time is a little worse since he is busy and I haven't been able to have contact, but isn't this what field is all about? I mean it's all about both sides getting ready for the deployment. I know that things are going to be 10x worse when he actually leaves, but these little spurts of absence are really helping me. I came to the peace today that everything is going to be fine and it's up to me to make the field time as fun as I can or hell. I can't afford to sit around and mope about. I have a child to think about. How would it look to Bobby to see his mommy all depressed and not doing anything? How does that teach him to have pride in what his daddy is doing?

I want Bobby to know that every time daddy is away, he is helping the world be a safer place to be. I don't want Bobby growing up thinking that his daddy being gone is a bad thing. Yes, as he gets older, he is going to upset and sometimes angry, but it's all in how I present it. I need to be strong not only for Robert (so he can focus on his mission), but I need to be strong for Bobby and Jayden. I want no hard feelings to build up between them and their dad.

So, we begin day 3 tomorrow. It should be even better then today since I am getting out of the house and hanging out, plus Bobby will get worn out at the park and it will make for a peaceful afternoon. Now if only I could manage to finish some of my to do list. I've started like six things, but stop half way through them to start another. If Rob was here, he would be yelling at me saying one thing at a time. I can hear him now, and it makes me smile. Man I miss him yelling at me.It's funny the things we miss. For example, he left his running shoes, his dirty ACUs, a pair of sandals and a couple of other things on the floor. I usually get mad. It seems like he just doesn't know how to put things away. (sounds familiar...my dad used to say that to me). Yet today, I just smiled and picked them up. I put them away shaking my head.

I know that I will clean this house top to bottom in anticipation of his arrival, and as soon as he gets here, his alice pack, laundry bag and whatever he is wearing will be on the floor of our very small kitchen. Yet, I can't wait. I can't wait to have his crap every for me to pick up, for me to wash. Crazy huh? My dad would have a heart attack if he heard me say that. He always said that I left a trail wherever I went, and I did. Now I feel his pain, but somehow, after field time, I seem to welcome the mess. But don't worry, it will wear out it's welcome very soon. :)

Well, I am off to bed after I pick up a little bit. I gotta get some sleep so I can start day 3. I don't know if you call waking up every hour to every little noise my phone makes sleep. To a normal person, they wouldn't call it sleep, yet to a military wife, it's pretty good if you get an hour between waking up. I welcome the little sleep I get, at least it is sleep. :)