It seems like just yesterday, Rob called me to tell me that he was deploying at this year, now, I have his deployment training schedule sitting on my kitchen table. Umm, hello? Time is supposed to be going slow. I mean, I haven't been really thinking about it because it's still a ways away. Yet, right now, it seems like it's not that far. I hate that we are starting to have to talk about it and I am going to have to start having things in my name and getting the POA.
Isn't it funny how just a piece of paper makes reality seem so real? I mean, I was having a fantastic day and then he brings home this paper that has everything laid out, minus exact dates (which is what I truly care about). We have a town meeting soon that will lay out all activities and schedules from now until deployment. Who knows, we may get dates. I just don't want this to be happening. I want to go back to when I first found out and it seemed like forever away.
Jeez, it seems like time is flying by and I am just letting it. I am soaking up all the attention and time that I can have with Rob and trying to fit as much time in with Bobby and daddy as I possibly can. In 8 weeks, he is going to have to share his time between his two boys and wife. I know that once Jayden comes, things will get even more hectic. I mean, he will in up to his neck with training and new responsibilities as squad leader and a new baby. I know that once Jayden comes, time is going to fly by and we are not going to know what hit us. It will be the night before he leaves, and we will be sitting in our living room catching what little time we have left, wondering where the time went. We are going to be thinking that we had all the time left in the world and now we are going to have to cram all the time in just a few hours.
I just can't bear to imagine how things are going to be in the next months. With him taking on new responsibilities as squad leader, me taking on the FRG leader role and role as a new mommy, things are going to get a tad bit hectic. I just wish that I had a slow button so that I can do everything I need to do and everything I need, and still have time left over. Is that even possible? Oh how I wish.
I pray every night that when he is deployed that our marriage lasts. Deployment does things to marriages and it makes it hard. We struggled towards the end of BCT/AIT. How are we going to do with a year? How am I going to do being 1800 miles away from family with two kids under the age of 3? How is he going to do being away from his family? So many questions and no answers. I have so many what ifs going through my mind and I have no answers to any of the questions.
REALITY SUCKS!!!!!!!
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